Disclaimers: This video addresses God-ordained roles within marriage, not how a man is to lead if he strives to please God. This video purposes to answer a question that the church avoids at all cost, “Who’s the boss?” This is not about power and control. Man is not better than woman, and woman is not better than man. We serve different purposes.
I grew up in the church, and I remember what was being preached 30 years ago. Do you? What changed? Does culture trump the Word of God? Certainly not. Years ago, when Christian family had problems, they called the pastor. He sought counsel from God’s Word, not man’s opinion from “Christian” psychology books.
We represent the ex-gay community – men who have repented and put their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Having experienced some degree of healing, many fragile men dream of one day following Christ into marriage with a woman. Our aim is to clear the path of obstacles. Praise the Lord.
This video addresses a massive boulder they will face, a boulder we trust the Lord to remove.
Imagine a group hike down a narrow, jungle path. As we encounter potholes, trees down across the path and branches in the way, we shout back to those behind us (younger believers) – warning them of danger… and to those ahead of us (older believers) to make straight the way for all.
Have you ever heard someone say the Bible doesn’t condemn homosexuality as sin? Sounds absurd, right? Why? Because it’s not stated one time but many times. It requires overlooking the obvious… repeatedly. It’s like arguing that the sky isn’t blue.
I was the guy who ran like a girl in gym class. Shame on the church when the Lord delivers a man from the gay community to remind us that man is the God-appointed head of the home. That’s when you know that we the church have fallen far, far away. We’re following psychology books, movements and Hollywood fairy tales.
What are some popular arguments?:
1) Christ is the head of the home, not man. Convenient way out of responsibility. That’s like saying, “Jesus saves”, so I don’t need to preach the gospel. Wrong.
2) Christ modeled servant leadership. Agreed, but how does that apply to this? Did He relinquish His role in a desperate attempt to prove humility? No, don’t use this as an excuse to emasculate a man.
3) My wife has more gifts than I have. Invalid argument. The Bible clearly appoints you as head of your home.
4) Mutual submission doctrine aims to discredit God’s Word in Ephesians chapter 5. Proponents cite that there were no “section headers” in the original Scriptures, which again, is absurd. Let’s take a look at God’s infallible Word together.
Verse 1-21 are obviously general directives to the church. Beginning at verse 22, husbands and wives are directly addressed with specific orders.
“1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. 3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints… 18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
(see bottom of page for additional supporting Scripture)
Imagine this scenario: If you walked into a wedding party and addressed the attendees in the ballroom with general instructions for the wedding reception, then you turned to the bride and grown, directly addressed them by title “Wife…”, “Husband…”, then gave them specific instructions, why would they choose to disregard what was directly addressed to them and instead opt to follow general directives to attendees? It makes no sense.
Ephesians 5:21 concludes general directives to the church at large. It comes prior to direct addresses to husbands and wives.
Taking verse 21 out of context (trying to cut & paste it into the next paragraph after husband & wife direct addresses) is an attempt to wash away direct orders to husband and wife respectively. This argument claims that the Bible calls for mutual submission – husband to wife and wife to husband. This false doctrine reduces the sacred husband-wife relationship to mere brother and sister in Christ.
Why do we avoid at all cost what the Lord has called us to do / be? Satan loves to reverse God-ordained roles – God & man, male & female, parent & child, husband & wife… He loves to convince people that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
Ungrateful for our own assignment (for which we have been gifted), we envy someone else’s and strive to prove we can do it better than they could. Some men may compete with their wives for the role assigned to them by the Most High. Think of how ridiculous all of this is.
Many give up and allow their wives to run the show. In trading God-ordained roles, we give up satisfaction and fulfillment. Emasculation can leave a man feeling useless.
I personally believe that this popular erosion of God’s Word has contributed considerably to soaring divorce rates.
The husband is the head of the home without exception. There is no plan B.
Men, don’t allow yourself to be emasculated.
The following are NOT justifications for allowing your wife to head the home:
- Wife knows the Bible better than the husband.
- Husband has made bad choices in life.
- Wife is a natural leader with a strong personality.
- “But I am just a janitor, and my wife is president of a Fortune 500 company!”
- “But our culture favors women leaders.”
Sorry, brothers. The Lord put you in charge.
Does this sound appealing to you? Me neither. It is certainly not popular. Hollywood says a woman can head the home. Almighty God says she is not. Here comes the choice: Follow God’s Word or popular culture?
This is not a small thing. It’s a big thing. Getting this right is key to survival.
The role of head of the home is assigned. On the day of judgment, we men will be held accountable for what we did with our assigned role.
To us men, even those of us who once considered ourselves women, the Lord commands, ‘STEP UP!‘
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18
“To the woman he said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” – Genesis 3:16
“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-14
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” – Titus 2:3-5
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:1-7
At the root of rejection of these Scriptures is unwillingness to accept ourselves as the Lord created us. No matter what I do, I will never be a woman. God created me to be a man. No matter what a woman does, she can’t be a man. Both of us could have surgery and live a fantasy, but we will never truly be what we were not created to be. Accept your God-given role. Be thankful. Praise the Lord.