Who’s the Boss?

Disclaimers: This video addresses God-ordained roles within marriage, not how a man is to lead if he strives to please God. This video purposes to answer a question that the church avoids at all cost, “Who’s the boss?” This is not about power and control. Man is not better than woman, and woman is not better than man. We serve different purposes.

I grew up in the church, and I remember what was being preached 30 years ago. Do you? What changed? Does culture trump the Word of God? Certainly not. Years ago, when Christian family had problems, they called the pastor. He sought counsel from God’s Word, not man’s opinion from “Christian” psychology books.

We represent the ex-gay community- men who have repented and put their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Having experienced some degree of healing, many fragile men dream of one day following Christ into marriage with a woman. Our aim is to clear the path of obstacles. Praise the Lord.

This video addresses a massive boulder they will face, a boulder we trust the Lord to remove.

Imagine a group hike down a narrow, jungle path. As we encounter potholes, trees down across the path and branches in the way, we shout back to those behind us (younger believers)- warning them of danger… and to those ahead of us (older believers) to make straight the way for all.

Have you ever heard someone say the Bible doesn’t condemn homosexuality as sin? Sounds absurd, right? Why? Because it’s not stated one time but many times. It requires overlooking the obvious… repeatedly. It’s like arguing that the sky isn’t blue.

I was the guy who ran like a girl in gym class. Shame on the church when the Lord delivers a man from the gay community to remind us that man is the God-appointed head of the home. That’s when you know that we the church have fallen far, far away. We’re following psychology books, movements and Hollywood fairy tales.

What are some popular arguments?-
1) Christ is the head of the home, not man. Convenient way out of responsibility. That’s like saying, “Jesus saves”, so I don’t need to preach the gospel. Wrong.

2) Christ modeled servant leadership. Agreed, He also sternly rebuked those who championed heresy. Don’t use this as an excuse to emasculate a man.

3) My wife has more gifts than I have. Invalid argument. The Bible clearly appoints you as head of your home.

4) Mutual submission doctrine aims to discredit God’s Word in Ephesians chapter 5. Proponents cite that there were no “section headers” in the original Scriptures, which again, is absurd. Let’s take a look at God’s infallible Word together…

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:22-25 (see bottom of page for additional supporting Scripture)

Imagine this scenario: If you walked into a wedding party and addressed the attendees in the ballroom with general instructions for the wedding reception, then you turned to the bride and grown, directly addressed them by title “Wife…”, “Husband…”, then gave them specific instructions, why would they choose to disregard what was directly addressed to them and instead opt to follow general directives to attendees? It makes no sense. Ephesians 5:21 is a general directive to the church at large.

It attempts to wash away direct orders to husband and wife respectively (given following direct addresses to each) with general directives to the church body. This argument claims that the Bible calls for mutual submission- husband to wife and wife to husband. Although there is always some truth in error, this false doctrine reduces the sacred husband-wife relationship to mere brother and sister in Christ.

In trading God-ordained roles, we give up satisfaction and fulfillment. I personally believe that this popular erosion of God’s Word has contributed considerably to soaring divorce rates. Suffice it to say that emasculation can leave a man feeling useless.

The husband is the head of the home without exception. There is no plan B.

Men, don’t allow yourself to be emasculated.

The following are NOT justifications for allowing your wife to head the home:
-Wife knows the Bible better than the husband.

-Husband has made bad choices in life.
-Wife is a natural leader with a strong personality.
-“But I am just a janitor, and my wife is president of a Fortune 500 company!”
-“But our culture favors women leaders.”

Sorry, brothers. The Lord put you in charge of your home.

Does this sound appealing to you? Me neither. It is certainly not popular. Hollywood says a woman can head the home. Almighty God says she is not. Here comes the choice: Follow God’s Word or popular culture?

This is not a small thing. It’s a big thing. Getting this right is key to survival.

The role of head of the home is assigned- not something that is gained or lost.
To us men, even those of us who once considered ourselves women, the Lord commands, ‘STEP UP!‘

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18

“To the woman he said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” – Genesis 3:16

“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-14

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” – Titus 2:3-5

At the root of rejection of these Scriptures is unwillingness to accept ourselves as the Lord created us. No matter what I do, I will never be a woman. God created me to be a man. No matter what a woman does, she can’t be a man. Both of us could have surgery and live a fantasy, but we will never truly be what we were not created to be. Accept your God-given role. Be thankful. Praise the Lord.

Advertisements

Why Praise the Lord?

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord . Praise the Lord!” Psalms 150:6

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

“And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.” Matthew 28:18

“…the Holy Spirit who dwells within us…” 2 Timothy 1:14

“…the Helper, the Holy Spirit…” John 14:26

“If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.” 1 Peter 4:14

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
Genesis 1:27

“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1

“You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” Revelation 4:11

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above…” James 1:17

My Story 3a: Envy

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Bible passages referenced in this video:  John 1:6-8, Mark 16:15, 2 Corinthians 4:4, Psalm 24:1, Matthew 28:18, Philippians 4:7, John 10:10, Philippians 4:19, Psalm 37:25, Exodus 14-16, Philippians 3:20, Romans 8:28, 1 Thessalians 4:13-18

Click here for the full song “Farther Along”.

Click here to watch “My Story”.

Click here to watch “My Story 2”.

How to Follow Christ into Purification (Deliverance)

Please note: Below tips seek to help a person walk away from homosexual sin but do not claim to remove temptation.

We trust and obey the Lord. He performs the miracles (Jeremiah 29:11).

The following are tips, the Word of God applied to practical experience:

  1. Repent of Your Sins, and Give Your Life to the Lord Jesus Christ.
  2. Read the Word of God daily. Arm yourself (Ephesians 6:10-18).
    • Even if you feel you do not understand, still read. It renews the mind (Romans 12:2).
    • Prior to reading:  Find a safe, quiet space. Turn off your cell phone.
    • Decide the amount you are going to read, and stick to it.
    • Look for verses that can be applied practically to your life.
  3. Pray according to the will of God (1 John 5:14). Always be in a spirit of prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
    • When you sin, pray for forgiveness (1 John 1:9). Then continue fighting. Come boldly to God by the blood of Jesus (Hebrews 4:16).
    • Pray for forgiveness of your sins daily (1 John 1:9).
    • Praise and thank Him for all things (Philippians 4:4, 6-9).
    • Pray for others.
    • Pray for yourself:
      • Guidance and direction. (Jeremiah 33:3; John 16:13).
      • Focus and clarity.
      • Wisdom (James 1:5).
      • Discernment (I Peter 5:8).
      • That the Lord will speak to you through His Word (John 16:13).
      • Pray for the Lord’s will for your life and in all things.
      • Pray for wisdom and discernment.
      • Pray as you feel moved by the Spirit (intercessory prayer; Romans 8:26-27).
  4. Worship the Lord in song (John 4:23).
  5. Find a Bible-believing church. Attend weekly (Hebrews 10:25). You will learn a lot about Christ by spending time in His house.
  6. Tithe (2 Corinthians 9:7Malachi 3:10). God promises to meet our needs (Philippians 4:19; Psalm 37:25). Tithing is an exercise in trust.
  7. Fast.
    • Choose a meal or meals you will skip each week, and stick to them. (Ex. Tuesday breakfast & lunch).
    • Set specific times you will intentionally read a bit of Scripture & pray during the fast. (for ex. 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 5pm)
    • Pray that His will be done for each of the needs the Lord has placed on your heart (1 John 5:14-15).
    • Pray when you feel hungry and as the Lord leads throughout the day.
    • When possible, praise the Lord in song.
    • Do not appear as though or indicate to anyone that you are fasting (Matthew 6:16-18). You are a special agent (2 Timothy 2:4).
  8. Have Faith (Hebrews 11:1, 6). Be confident that the Lord will finish the work He began in you (Philippians 1:6).
  9. Trust the Lord. Transfer your trust from yourself to Him. He is in charge now. Let go. Do not be anxious (Philippians 4:61 Peter 5:7).
  10. Do not be afraid (1 John 4:4). He who is in you (Jesus who lives in the heart of the believer) is greater than he who is in this world (Satan).
  11. Forgive those who have hurt you (Matthew 6:14-15; Mark 11:25-26).
  12. Make Habit Changes (Luke 12:48) to eliminate idols (1 John 2:16-17).
    • Live for Jesus. Follow Him (Matthew 10:39).
    • Replace secular music listening with Christian music.
    • Listen to praise and worship music often, especially when feeling anxious.
    • Stop having sexual contact of every kind (James 1:12; 1 Corinthians 6:18)- men, women & self.
    • Avoid philosophical discussions related to sex and sexuality (1 Timothy 6:3-5).
    • Take control of your thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5; Philippians 4:7-8).
    • Change habits that draw you closer to temptation (James 4:7). Ex: If walking by the gym is a trigger, take another route.
    • Take a break from social media. Do not actively announce the break. Assess how media impacts your life.
    • Take a break from the secular TV/music/media (Ephesians 4:22-23). Assess how media impacts your life.
    • Respond to cravings for food and other substances by reading the Bible, prayer or praise.
    • During these very difficult changes, you should find yourself falling in love with Christ (Matthew 11:28-30).
  13. Find your identity in Christ.
    • The Lord has a purpose for your life.
    • He has given you gift to carry out His purpose for your life.
    • Identify your gifts (1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4, Romans 12).
    • Serving the Lord is the best way to identify your gifts.
  14. Serve the Lord. Pray about what the Lord wants you to do, and seek opportunities. Something humble is a good start (1 Peter 5:6).
  15. Develop your gift (Ex. teaching, music).
  16. Maintain a journal. Document what the Lord is doing in your life.
  17. Enjoy your relationship with Jesus Christ.
    • It’s a war. Do not allow distractions or temptations to diminish your relationship with Christ.
    • Crave fellowship with Him. Be inspired by His Word.
    • Be confident that Jesus loves you (Romans 8:1; Romans 8:37-39).
    • Find comfort, rest and solace in Him (Matthew 11:28-30).
    • Talk to Him frequently.
    • Set aside quality time just for you and Him.
  18. Prepare a testimony.
    • We overcome evil by the blood of Jesus and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11).
    • Prepare a written account of the great work the Lord has done in your life.
    • Through the process, be prepared to give a verbal account of the great work the Lord has done and is doing in your life.

The depth of your personal relationship with Christ will make or break your deliverance. Do not expect immediate results. Expect great trials. This is a journey, a process and a war. Praise the Lord for each step along this narrow, difficult path that leads to everlasting life.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

The Way of Salvation

1)  God created everything.

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:27

2)  We sinned. Every person on earth is a sinner. We all do bad things.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

3)  We deserve death for our sins.  But we can have eternal life through Jesus.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

4)  God loves us so much that He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to earth to die on a cross (took the punishment that we deserve) to save us from our sins.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.John 3:16‭-‬18

5)  God raised Jesus from the dead. Jesus is Lord.

“that he worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under His feet…”  Ephesians 1:20‭-‬22

“And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.'” Matthew 28:18

6)  No one is a good person. We cannot earn heaven.

“…None is righteous, no, not one;” Romans 3:10

7)  We must repent of our sins and put our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. This is the ONLY way to be saved (go to heaven and have everlasting life).

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Matthew 3:2

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father, except through Me.’” John 14:6

8)  We must be spiritually “born again”.

“Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.’” John 3:3
See full chapter (John 3) for detailed explanation.

9)  The Lord Jesus Christ is coming back in judgment. Those who have repented of their sins and given their lives to Him will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. Sadly, those who have not repented of their sins and given their lives to Him will burn for eternity in hell.

“Then He will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’” Matthew 25:41

10)  Following Jesus begins with one humble prayer.

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

If you are ready to give your life to Jesus and live for Him, please pray:

Dear Jesus,

I am a sinner.

I believe that You died on the cross to save me from my sins.

I believe that You rose again.

I believe that Jesus Is Lord.

Please forgive me from my sins.

And I will follow You for the rest of my life.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.

If you prayed that prayer and meant it, you have been saved by God’s grace (undeserved favor) through your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus paid it all. You are justified by faith, not works.

“For it is by grace you have been saved through faith – and this is not from yourselves.  It is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

Praise the Lord!


Now Follow Jesus every day:

1)  Get a Bible. Start reading it daily.

2)  Pray daily.

3)  Find a Bible believing church. Attend regularly.

Follow the Lord!

If you feel like you cannot believe in Jesus, read the Bible. “Faith comes by hearing the word of God.” (Romans 10:17)

If you have a question, would like to talk, pray or be encouraged, please fill out the form below. Anonymous is ok. Expect a timely response.