Tag Archives: God

Who’s the Boss?

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Disclaimers: This video addresses God-ordained roles within marriage, not how a man is to lead if he strives to please God. This video purposes to answer a question that the church avoids at all cost, “Who’s the boss?” This is not about power and control. Man is not better than woman, and woman is not better than man. We serve different purposes.

I grew up in the church, and I remember what was being preached 30 years ago. Do you? What changed? Does culture trump the Word of God? Certainly not. Years ago, when Christian family had problems, they called the pastor. He sought counsel from God’s Word, not man’s opinion from “Christian” psychology books.

We represent the ex-gay community- men who have repented and put their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Having experienced some degree of healing, many fragile men dream of one day following Christ into marriage with a woman. Our aim is to clear the path of obstacles. Praise the Lord.

This video addresses a massive boulder they will face, a boulder we trust the Lord to remove.

Imagine a group hike down a narrow, jungle path. As we encounter potholes, trees down across the path and branches in the way, we shout back to those behind us (younger believers)- warning them of danger… and to those ahead of us (older believers) to make straight the way for all.

Have you ever heard someone say the Bible doesn’t condemn homosexuality as sin? Sounds absurd, right? Why? Because it’s not stated one time but many times. It requires overlooking the obvious… repeatedly. It’s like arguing that the sky isn’t blue.

I was the guy who ran like a girl in gym class. Shame on the church when the Lord delivers a man from the gay community to remind us that man is the God-appointed head of the home. That’s when you know that we the church have fallen far, far away. We’re following psychology books, movements and Hollywood fairy tales.

What are some popular arguments?-
1) Christ is the head of the home, not man. Convenient way out of responsibility. That’s like saying, “Jesus saves”, so I don’t need to preach the gospel. Wrong.

2) Christ modeled servant leadership. Agreed, He also sternly rebuked those who championed heresy. Don’t use this as an excuse to emasculate a man.

3) My wife has more gifts than I have. Invalid argument. The Bible clearly appoints you as head of your home.

4) Mutual submission doctrine aims to discredit God’s Word in Ephesians chapter 5. Proponents cite that there were no “section headers” in the original Scriptures, which again, is absurd. Let’s take a look at God’s infallible Word together…

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:22-25 (see bottom of page for additional supporting Scripture)

Imagine this scenario: If you walked into a wedding party and addressed the attendees in the ballroom with general instructions for the wedding reception, then you turned to the bride and grown, directly addressed them by title “Wife…”, “Husband…”, then gave them specific instructions, why would they choose to disregard what was directly addressed to them and instead opt to follow general directives to attendees? It makes no sense. Ephesians 5:21 is a general directive to the church at large.

It attempts to wash away direct orders to husband and wife respectively (given following direct addresses to each) with general directives to the church body. This argument claims that the Bible calls for mutual submission- husband to wife and wife to husband. Although there is always some truth in error, this false doctrine reduces the sacred husband-wife relationship to mere brother and sister in Christ.

In trading God-ordained roles, we give up satisfaction and fulfillment. I personally believe that this popular erosion of God’s Word has contributed considerably to soaring divorce rates. Suffice it to say that emasculation can leave a man feeling useless.

The husband is the head of the home without exception. There is no plan B.

Men, don’t allow yourself to be emasculated.

The following are NOT justifications for allowing your wife to head the home:
-Wife knows the Bible better than the husband.

-Husband has made bad choices in life.
-Wife is a natural leader with a strong personality.
-“But I am just a janitor, and my wife is president of a Fortune 500 company!”
-“But our culture favors women leaders.”

Sorry, brothers. The Lord put you in charge of your home.

Does this sound appealing to you? Me neither. It is certainly not popular. Hollywood says a woman can head the home. Almighty God says she is not. Here comes the choice: Follow God’s Word or popular culture?

This is not a small thing. It’s a big thing. Getting this right is key to survival.

The role of head of the home is assigned- not something that is gained or lost.
To us men, even those of us who once considered ourselves women, the Lord commands, ‘STEP UP!‘

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18

“To the woman he said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” – Genesis 3:16

“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-14

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” – Titus 2:3-5

At the root of rejection of these Scriptures is unwillingness to accept ourselves as the Lord created us. No matter what I do, I will never be a woman. God created me to be a man. No matter what a woman does, she can’t be a man. Both of us could have surgery and live a fantasy, but we will never truly be what we were not created to be. Accept your God-given role. Be thankful. Praise the Lord.

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Should Christians Drink Alcohol?

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Born-again Christians should not drink alcohol. Nine years ago, the Lord delivered me from near death addiction. My situation was extreme. Am I saying that yours will be the same if you have a beer? No, but for some, especially when times get tough, it could go there.

1) It’s a slippery slope.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12

If you and I are saved, why are we here?

Our primary duty is to evangelize.

2) For the sake of testimony- so that others can know Christ.

“Go into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” Mark 16:15

“You are the light of the world…” Matthew 5:14

Christ living within us, we are light of the world. When a hopeless unbeliever walks into a restaurant, he should immediately notice a stark contrast between the other tables and ours.

The difference should be like black and white. Our joy and peace should be evident through countenance, conversation and actions. Others are watching. We all have influence over people. Take your influence seriously. It’s responsibility. We are called to a higher standard.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” Hebrews 12:1

3) But we are free!

Well-intentioned: “I want to show everyone how fun it is to follow Christ!”

– We are not selling worldly fun; we are selling peace through forgiveness and freedom from sin.

Jesus turned water to wine to prove His deity.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” Galatians 5:13‭-‬14

“All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” 1 Corinthians 10:23‭-‬24

“We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.” Romans 15:1

“The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” Romans 14:22‭-‬23

4) Alcohol impairs judgment.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” 2 Peter 5:8

It’s difficult enough to follow Christ, all the more with impaired judgment.

We make ourselves sitting ducks for the enemy.

“Wine is a mocker, Strong drink is a brawler, And whoever is led astray by it is not wise.” Proverbs 20:1

“Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:12

What is the reason you drink?

“Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4

Do you long to be “part of”? Are we adults caving to peer pressure like a high school student?

Are you terrified to walk alone?

Are you not finding comfort in the Great Comforter?

Does He live inside you?

Do you start every day with Him?

When trials of life come, we should find comfort in the Father, not the bottle. Christ is enough.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

5) Christ is enough. Praise the Lord!

Why Praise the Lord?

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“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord . Praise the Lord!” Psalms 150:6

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

“And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.” Matthew 28:18

“…the Holy Spirit who dwells within us…” 2 Timothy 1:14

“…the Helper, the Holy Spirit…” John 14:26

“If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.” 1 Peter 4:14

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
Genesis 1:27

“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1

“You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” Revelation 4:11

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above…” James 1:17

Separation Required

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“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’ Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.” I Corinthians 15:33‭-‬34

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4

“So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.” Revelation 12:9, 11

“To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:22‭-‬24

“He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” Colossians 1:13‭-‬14

“But My righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him.” Hebrews 10:38

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” Romans 13:14

“And Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.'” Luke 13:2‭-‬3

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.” I John 2:15‭-‬17

“But others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.” Jude 1:23

“But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—” Ephesians 4:15

“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:8

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” John 15:18‭-‬19

“For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God.” Acts 20:27

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.” Romans 1:16

“And He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.'” Mark 16:15

Heresy: an Import/Export Business

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“Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.” – Jude 3-4

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” – 2 Timothy 4:3-4

The Scripture above is unsettling. What should I do?

“As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” – 2 Timothy 4:5

Do you remember the scene from “Jaws” where father and son were sitting at the kitchen table and the son copied the actions of the father? As the old adage goes, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

When we stand for Christ in our community, the neighbors start watching our actions. Testimony is vitally important. Satan is always trying to shoot holes through it- to point out our shortcomings, to give people an excuse not to believe in Christ.

The West has greater responsibility than we realize. As the East develops, it mimics the West. For example, many in Southeast Asia see our actions on media and copy.

We were recently asked if Christmas is celebrated or even acknowledged in Cambodia / Thailand. Even at a Chinese restaurant in America, you might see a Christmas decoration on the wall and wonder why it is still hanging in June. Generally speaking, many associate Christmas with happiness. Happiness is endorsed. And many identify something that comes from the West as cool.

Like many Americans, many Cambodians also do not have a problem agreeing that, “Jesus is good!” People typically do not even rebuttal the deity of Christ. Then again, even the word for the sun comes with “Preah” before it, which means god. Adding Christ to a multitude of other gods who are worshiped is not a problem. Rejection of the gospel comes at the point where we assert that Jesus is the ONE true God and the ONLY way to heaven (the “exclusivity” of Christ).

Imitation of the West is not limited to popular culture. The church of the East also follows the church of the West. The fall of the American church is having a much greater impact than many of us realize. The world is watching. Since the gospel in recent generations came to much of the world through American missionaries, the tendency is to continue to trust / listen-without-filter whatever is broadcast through that same pipeline today. American false teachers, especially those with a large following, are quickly endorsed.

False teachings manufactured in the West are adopted in the younger, quick-to-follow-without-filtering church of the East. Survival of your brothers and sisters overseas depends in part on what you say and do.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” – Hosea 4:6

Wherever we are, we must be like the Bereans and compare what we are being taught against the inspired Word of God.

“Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” Acts 17:11

Praise the Lord for His Word.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” – Psalm 119:105

Respect & Authority

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Coming into the church broken has not been easy. But going against the Bible’s warnings can incur judgment and delay our growth. The purpose of this video is to share lessons I have learned the hard way to spare you the pain of making the same mistakes:

“Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” 1 Peter 4:19

1) Respect your elders.
Tough… popular culture says no. The Word of God says Yes.

“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”
1 Timothy 5:1

2) Submit to authority.

Don’t touch (rebuke) the Lord’s anointed (1 Chronicles 16:22).

Advice to my younger self: Do not sign on to work within a ministry or organization unless you are aligned with the leadership and willing to follow the rules. If you sign on and later realize it was not what you expected, follow the rules as best you can until you are able to move on. Respectfully asking questions is ok.

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
Hebrews 13:17

3) Don’t judge.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”
Matthew 7:1-3

4) Don’t envy. (compare yourself to others)

“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Galatians 5:19-21

5) Trust the sovereignty of God.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28

6) The Lord will avenge.

“Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Romans 12:19

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ To the contrary, ‘if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:19-21

7) Forgive. It’s in your best interest.

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15

The Lord chastises those He loves. If you have erred similarly, apologize, repent (Matthew 5:24- first make it right with the person, then with the Lord) and move on.

“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.”
Hebrews 12:6